This blog is an attempt.
This blog is a shot in the dark.
This blog is a try for something new.
Hopefully you can be a part of it.
My tendency is to shoot from the hip and react. I get pissed easy and lash out. It is easy to point out whats messed up and broken, and while that can be necessary, I easily become a broken record of negativity. Friends have commented that I seem angry all the time, pissed off, and while I am fired up I worry it comes across arrogant and mean.
“People want action, not reaction,” Cara told me, a wise friend.
First, I am sorry. If I have lashed out and attacked and mocked you, I need to apologize.
Second, I don’t want to just be an angry reaction but hope to be a thoughtful participant in discovering something new.
Yes, we need to tear down the walls and disrupt our isms but I have them just as much as the next person (maybe even more). I need your accountability and assistance. Call me out when I mess up, I need it. There is a tension here. How do we dismantle entrenched systems lovingly? That is what I need to know and hope to discover.
I will continue to work against sexism, because I see it in myself.
I will continue to work against racism, because it exists in my heart.
I will continue to work against homophobia and transphobia and cis-privilege because I benefit at the cost of others lives.
I will continue to dismantle my isms because they take shape and become incarnated in my thoughts and actions.
Thats what this is a place for, not to prescribe where you are wrong, but to see where I need to grow and change and submit and humble myself. Maybe we can grow together.